The Vampire Breast Lift

All was well until the “natural degradation of my collagen and elastin” (as they say in dermatology-speak) kicked in, exacerbated no doubt by breastfeeding two children. At 51, the orbs of yesteryear had lost volume—and were quickly moving south.

As a curious beauty editor who’s gone full guinea-pig on many occasions, I make no judgments about anyone else who wants to surgically add to or subtract from their own bodies. But I knew breast implants, which have a recovery time of four-to-six weeks, weren’t for me. I might have resigned myself to my God-given flatness were it not for an invitation to visit VSpot on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. 

The brainchild of Cindy Barshop, the former founder of Completely Bare spas and one-season cast member of RHONY (who also apparently invented vajazzling), Vspot is a medispa staffed by female gynecologists and technicians who focus on sexual health and wellness. Also on the list of services? The non-surgical breast lift, aka the Vampire Breast Lift, since it relies on materials found in your own blood.

The Vampire Breast Lift was pioneered by Charles Runels, who has invented a number of cosmetic dabble-in-your-own-blood-products procedures; he trademarked the name and trains people in the technique. (Quite the marketer, Dr. Runels: several years ago, he introduced the concept to Hollywood via coupons in the swag bags of Oscar-award nominees). 

The lift is achieved by drawing the patient’s blood and separating the platelets from the red blood cells via centrifuge. The platelets are then mixed into a calcium chloride solution, which causes them to release growth factors (the very substances that jumpstart the production of collagen and elastin).

This secret sauce is then inserted back into the breasts in a series of injections. Then, sit back and watch as your breasts subtly gain volume over the next few months (peaking around half a year post-procedure) like a bouncy castle being set up at a county fair. “You’re utilizing your own cells to work for you,” notes Monica Grover, MD, OBGYN and Chief Medical Office who performs the procedure at Vspot’s Madison Avenue location.

Are the results permanent? No. Do you inflate two cup sizes? No. Rather, your breasts just look like they were lovingly placed back in the position they were in a couple of decades ago. Results reportedly last one to two years, at a cost of $3,600.

For larger-breasted women, “we are able to see some amount of lift but it will not be as dramatic or apparent as with someone with a smaller cup size,” says Grover. “Even if you do have larger breasts, we can still fill in cleavage, smooth out your skin, and increase or restore sensitivity in your nipples. We are also able to enhance cleavage or the décolleté area, as well as create a more rounder breast shape for a frontal and side profile.” 

Immediately after receiving about 10 to 15 injections in both breasts (which hurt like hell, apparently due to their proximity to my rib cage), I noticed a difference, which I was told was mostly due to swelling at the injection site. However, a few months have since passed. I can report that my breasts have gone from deflated to spherical. Whether they are now poetry-worthy (I think of the line in Sharon Olds’ Poem for the Breasts—“They seem to me like a gift that I have to give”) I’m not sure. But I am sure I’m wearing them, or they’re wearing me, with pleasure, and perhaps a little bit of pride.

You can get your own Vampire Breast Lift at Vspot at 741 Madison Avenue. A second address, near Union Square, is due to open in November. Visit vspotmedispa.com for more information.