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Gold Diggers

DP’s Gift Guide for Swans

If her only fault is that she’s too perfect . . . here are some gift ideas for her.

They stepped off the Gulfstream and swanned right into your life—whoever your own personal Babe, Slim, or C.Z. may be.

Some of us are lucky enough to know one in real life. But most of us are simply lucky enough to know a swan-in-the-making, who has been richly inspired by the aesthetic, scandalous, perfectly outfitted, 1970s story of Upper East Side society and betrayal known as Feud: Capote vs. the Swans.

In honor of the show’s forthcoming finale, we put together a gift guide inspired by the swans’ lives, both out at lunch and behind closed doors. From an embossed gold bar (ideally for casual use as a paper weight) to a feather-trimmed ivory silk cape or, better yet, a blank check they can take into Dr. Diamond’s office—these are the gifts befitting a swan.

Still of C.Z. Guest in a car from Feud: Capote vs. The Swans
Buy her a pair of classic cat-eye sunglasses from Yves Saint Laurent—the bigger the better—for her next road trip (à la C.Z Guest, played by Chloë Sevigny). Photo from Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans, Official Trailer, FX via YouTube
Naomi Watts as Babe Paley. Still from Feud: Capote vs. The Swans Official Trailer, FX via YouTube
She can channel Babe (played by Naomi Watts) and make notes in a personalized Smythson notebook when she’s swanning by the pool. Photo from Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans, Official Trailer, FX via YouTube

Some have sentimental trinkets on their desk; swans have gold bars. This one—from Walmart!—is embossed, appropriately, with the image of Lady Fortuna. From $2,237

Slide their new personalized Smythson notebook across the table and tell them it’s for keeping a list of everyone who’s crossed them. (Or they can do as Babe did and use it for their own little life improvements.) From $160

To make their homage to the swans complete, they need the OG Swan fragrance: Joy by Jean Patou. From $259. (As well as a classic pair of cat-eye sunglasses from Saint Laurent, the bigger the better. $960)

Scallop design Calais bed linen from Julia B. Casa
For a bedroom refresh, gift her handmade bed linens like this whimsical scallop design, Calais, from Julia B. Hold on the monogramming for now. Photo courtesy of Julia B. Casa
Dinner plates decorated with mushroom designs from La Maison du Bac
Nothing is standard about the swan aesthetic. She needs something special—like these whimiscal plates from La Maison du Bac—for her first post-divorce dinner party.

That post-divorce apartment isn’t going to decorate itself. Start with some hand painted wallpaper (from $500/panel) from Gracie Studio, a set of whimsical dinner plates from La Maison du Bac (from $1,335 for a set of six), a pair of handcrafted Spindle Back Nickey Kehoe chairs ($5,800 each), and some Julia B. custom bedding ($300 per sham). Skip the monogram for now; who knows what their last name will be in a year?

But what about the kids? They’ll be fine, outfitted with the services of elite “personalized and white-glove” college counseling firm, Command Education (price based on a private consultation, published rate is $120,000/year) and a 15-hour college tour, powered by a Magellan private jet (price upon request, published rates begin at $111,375).

Reception desk at Elitra Health Manhattan Center for Life and Longevity
A personalized annual physical from Elitra, including a full-body CT scan, a nutritional lifestyle assessment, a cardio-vascular evaluation, and more, ensures she’ll stay beautiful, elegant, rich—and healthy. Photo courtesy of Elitra Health
Woman having oil Ayurveda spa treatment.
Or, if she prefers a more ancient, traditional approach, an Ayurvedic spa treatment at Surya will help restore that swan-like strength and balance. Photo by targovcom/Getty images
Private jet on the tarmac at sunset
She can visit all her kids' college choices in one day with a 15-hour tour powered by a Magellan private jet. Photo by guvendemir/Getty images

Modern-day swans want to make sure they’re in perfect health, requiring more than just an annual check-up. Elitra’s Executive Physical takes about five to six hours and gets them a full-body CT scan, a nutritional lifestyle assessment, a cardio-vascular evaluation, and then some. From $5,000

For who aren’t as into Western medicine, there’s the Panchakarma retreat by Surya Spa, which is an up-to-28-day immersive series of Ayurvedic treatments that run between 3.5 to 4 hours per day and include a dosha balancing lunch. From $2,910

If they’re not at the spa, they’re on the slopes. What better way to arrive at apres-ski, than in this Perfect Moment ski suit which nails the modern retro aesthetic. $990

Perfect Moment Montana ski suit—black, with red and white stripes
For ski—and apres—a Perfect Moment Montana suit nails the modern retro aesthetic.
Gabriela Hearst ivory Hillman silk cape
When she’s back in town, what better way to display the grace of a swan than with Gabriela Hearst’s feather-trimmed ivory silk cape.

For those who see the sidewalk as a catwalk, there’s no better topper than Gabriela Hearst’s feather-trimmed ivory silk cape. We’re not really sure why capes went out of style in the first place. $5,750

Whoever said a philandering husband should apologize with flowers? He can’t come home with anything less than this 5.00 carat handcrafted cocktail ring. From $11,029.

Brilliant-cut, 5.00 carat diamond, 18k-gold cocktail ring
The ultimate philanderer’s “I’m sorry”? This Italian, handcrafted, 18k-gold cocktail ring encrusted with brilliant-cut, 5.00 carat sparkly diamonds may—or may not—appease her.
Ingots gold bars stacked aligned with two placed randomly. 3D illustration on white background.
Gold—like the swan lifestyle—never goes out of fashion. And a single bar doubles as a chic paperweight. Photo by leonello /Getty images

The apology was insufficient? Nancy Chemtob, society divorce lawyer is waiting for their call.

When they start to vaguely say they’ll be out of town for three to six weeks, you’ll know it’s because they’ve been to see Dr. Diamond or Dr. Jacono. Considering their prices can climb up near $200,000, you may want to call ahead and ask if they do gift cards. Or at least pick up lunch.

And then subtly gift them a box of miracle-working goop overnight peel pads, so they can pretend that that’s their skincare secret. $125

All prices were correct at time of publication.

Hero photo by Yevgen Romanenko/Getty images

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