Big Spenders
The Billionaire's Gift Guide
The super rich are used to receiving—but what do the people who have everything give?
From the personal chef who somehow manages to make low-cal Foie gras taste like it deserves a Michelin star to the superyacht crew who discreetly ignores your offshore “meetings,” your “people” are likely the people you spend the most time with. And everyone on your payroll deserves a little extra something special this time of year. So how to show them just how much you appreciate their loyalty?
A cash bonus? Very 2023. This season, why not advise your gratitude-giving team to select gifts that whisper, “I see you—through the tinted glass of my driver’s 2024 Mercedes G-Class.” Think a bespoke knife trunk for your chef, a luxury ice bath for your trainer, and maybe a bulletproof Rolex or two for your security team.
For your Michelin-starred chef
Custom Louis Vuitton Knife Trunk
A chef without his knives is like you without a private jet—unthinkable! Ensure your chef is never caught in the Serengeti (or Saint-Tropez) with a substandard blade by taking a cue from Le Bernardin’s Michelin-starred chef Eric Ripert who commissioned Louis Vuitton to create a bespoke trunk to accommodate his state-of-the-art knife collection. He will never want to poison your food if you fill it with a new collection of MAC knives (a favorite of Ripert’s).
Trunk, $46,500; knives, from $100
For your trainer
Your trainer’s muscles—and ego—deserve the Kohler Ice Bath. Why settle for Arctic dips when biohacking nirvana can fit in his spare bathroom? It boosts recovery, resilience, and podcast-worthy bragging rights. Bonus: He may credit you for his newfound enlightenment when he makes a cameo on Dave Asprey’s podcast, The Human Upgrade. $15,000
For your armored vehicle driver
VIP Formula 1 tickets to the Monaco Grand Prix
For the fearless driver who weaves through chaos so you don’t have to, VIP Formula 1 tickets in Monaco are worth their weight in gold bars. The Ultimate Five-night Weekend Package includes luxury accommodations at some of the most fabulous hotels in the Côte d’Azur, a yacht reception, a party at Hermitage’s Midi Terrace, and prime viewing parties on the rooftop at Tabac and the Ermanno VIP Suites. A fast track to loyalty, no doubt. From $16,150
For your security detail
Show gratitude to the team keeping you out of harm’s way—and the tabloids. A fleet of titanium Rolexes says, “Thanks for taking that metaphorical bullet.” Practical, stylish, and just ostentatious enough to match your lifestyle, it will help to remind them on a daily basis exactly what time it is: time to protect your assets. $14,050
For your taste tester
Abask Mother of Pearl Serving Set
What do you gift the person brave enough to taste-test your caviar for poison? A mother-of-pearl serving set, of course. Luxuriously non-reactive, it keeps the prized roe’s delicate flavor pristine—no metallic tang here. It’s opulence with a purpose because, darling, even your food taster deserves a soupçon of the high life. $685
For your private jet pilot
Aston Martin Airbus Helicopter
An Aston Martin Airbus helicopter is the ultimate thank-you for the jet pilot who spends his life at 40,000 feet. With design features like leather upholstery with brogue detailing, signature Aston Martin color schemes matching the car, and embossed Aston Martin Wings throughout the cabin, it practically oozes Bond villain chic. Around $6 million
For the crew of your superyacht
An onboard Medi-spa and The Impossible Collection, Yachts (Assouline)
Why not take a cue from an unnamed prince who had a surgery theater set up on his private superyacht, not to mention an organ donor who traveled with him at all times in case he got into a jam? With yacht trips often lasting several days to many weeks, an onsite medi-spa offers the perfect place to recover from, say, a Deep Plane Facelift —which will help keep the entire crew looking like a million bucks no matter how much stress they endure on the job. Bonus: Unlimited Botox and NAD+ drips. Medispa, from around $50,000; book, $1,050
For your masseuse
TNS Skin Medica Advanced + Serum
Nothing says “I value your touch” quite as eloquently as a potion infused with . . . baby foreskins. Yes, you heard that right. This cream will ensure your hardworking masseuse’s hands stay softer than a billionaire’s conscience—luxury, with a dash of WTF. $295
For your lawyer
Let’s face it: He needs to sign some important documents on your behalf and few objects telegraph “thanks for keeping me out of prison” quite like Montblanc’s High Artistry pen. A mere $2 million, this extravagant writing implement is crafted from 18-karat yellow gold and decorated with rubies, emeralds and diamonds. How better to sign NDAs or settlements? $2 million
For your nanny
A therapist for your child’s nanny is a must—after all, managing your little heir’s tantrums while juggling your endless demands is no easy feat. A few sessions will help her process the emotional toll of “raising” your child while you’re busy playing snow polo in St. Moritz. Honoring self-care is solid insurance against lawsuits. Priceless
For your gardener
Allison Armour Aqualens Fountain
Why not pay homage to your gardener’s hard work with a sculpture that looks like it belongs on a medieval battlefield? Made from marine grade mirror polished stainless steel designed to stand the test of time, Allison Armour’s Aqualens Fountain offers the perfect blend of water feature and sculpture that telegraphs her mastery over nature. From $14,480
For your backcountry ski safari guide
They may know their way around the virgin Japow in Niseko, but do they look chic enough to be sharing those sublime dendrites with you? Designed to glide through the snow with the same ease with which you glide through life, these Hermès sycamore wood skis feature a “Jeu D’adresse” (games of skill) design by Evan Hecox. Practical? Maybe. Stylish? Absolutely. $17,500
For your mistress
Dinner in Space With Rasmus Munk
Rasmus Munk, the culinary wunderkind behind Copenhagen’s Michelin-starred Alchemist restaurant, has teamed up with Space Perspectives to create a unique dining experience 20 miles above the Earth. The menu, which may feature such odd Alchemist delicacies as raw jellyfish and freeze-dried lamb brain served in a fake skull, will help your mistress rethink her palate—and her life choices. $495,000
All prices were correct at the time of publication.
Hero photo courtesy of ABASK
